Insight Inside Children

I was listening to the 22 November 2013 BlogRadioTalk of Elsie Spittle and Linda Pransky when Linda talked about a young girl she was coaching in the 3 principles.  At one point Elsie commented on the level of wisdom in that young soul and in a flash I could 'see' what she was talking about.  Wisdom or Insight is not something that is given to us. Sure we learn a lot from being in physical form and experiencing life (if we pay attention) but the realisations that come, even from our reflections, are insights from deep within ourselves. They are information that we already know.
I do not have the same insights as another person.  I frame my insights with the use of my attention and focus. What I am curious about provides the temenos for the insights that come to me.  If I ponder and reflect upon the 3 principles then I will have insights about them, if I ponder and reflect upon the complexity of living in today's world then I will have insights about that.  Insights will always come to us, but whether we recognise them is another matter and will depend upon our own consciousness about the fact of wisdom or insight from within.
Young people, if engaged with in such a way that they feel secure and safe, will have their own insights about the three psychological principles operating in all of us and about how they are using those principles to create their lives.  As therapists and parents we are never in control of what they may 'hear' or 'realise' from within, we can only listen to our wisdom about how best to quiet their minds, create feelings of security, provide information and pose questions.  But what is realized from within them is totally out of our control.  But insights and realizations they will have - and they will come from the understanding or connection they have to understanding that already exists within them.
Doesn't that blow your mind away?  If we can help our children to understand the nature of the principles that operate within them, to be mindful of their state of mind and the feelings that come with it, to recognise the quiet and loud voices of wisdom and insight, and to reinforce their relationship with and trust in that wisdom, then their lives will be beyond what we have come to realise in our own and they will be okay always.  They already have everything they need inside them.
Elsie and Linda talk about the need for the adults in children's lives to not look for what is wrong in our children, but rather to look for the fact that they have wisdom. Cultivate that awareness and bring it to your children.  This amazing gift will allow them to reap all the richness that resides in their inner being, that gift will be like allowing our children to open their own treasure chests (and not just the ones flashing across movie screens).  Bring to their attention when you see them in their wisdom and doing things right. Talk to them about what this feels like versus the feelings that come with being in other forms of thought.  In time the feeling of being in wisdom will be something they consciously seek and nurture every day and they will notice sooner rather than later when they are in thought that leads them astray.

'Feeling' and 'Thought' in the Classroom

There is much research on the value of Social and Emotional Learning in education, not only to young people's self esteem but also to their academic performance.  And in Western Australia there are a number of excellent programs available for whole school implementation.  And sometimes, with commitment and persistence, these programs yield amazing results.  But at other times enthusiasm wanes, or, the energy to even begin just doesn't gather enough momentum.    And, moving around schools I know that teachers have a lot on their plate.  A new national curriculum is being rolled out.  Classroom lessons need to be differentiated to meet the range of abilities and difficulties that exist in the classroom.  Much learning and adjustment by teachers is already underway.  Learning more in the area of emotional and social development so that they can bring this too to their students may just seem like too much.

In my own practice my intention is to be of support to the student and the teacher.  I am mindful of not overloading both and of doing my best to make a difference.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I am 'called' to explore the situation before me with greater depth, so that I may deepen in my understanding of people and how to bring them more easily to learning.

Bringing SEL Programs to schools can be a bit like bringing reading to someone who has difficulty with reading.  The takeup is hugely variable and the mediators in all cases are (a) the 'feeling' of the 'teacher', and (b) the 'student's' thinking in the moment.  Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) Programs are fantastic at bringing explicit language around emotions and social interactions to students.  I think this enriches their thinking, particularly when conversations around such issues don't occur in the home, and provides them with more tools to bring to their emotional health and relationships with others.  I applaud the many teachers who have immersed themselves in these areas of learning for the benefit of their students.

And I ask the question is there a way we can bring the foundations of SEL programs to all classrooms regardless of whether structured programs have been implemented or not.  Because the reality is that SEL is being taught in all classrooms, families and social interactions, but perhaps not in the way that we would like. All social interactions, particularly by key people in young people's lives, teach.  Whether we are good at being emotionally buoyant or not, good at the subtleties of great social interactions or not, or good at being resilient or not, we are 'teaching' children through modelling and imitation.  I see this all the time when I work with students, observe the way their thinking patterns determines their behaviours, and see the obvious parallels with the way of the adults in their lives.

Three Principle (3P) Psychology offers an understanding that can potentially change all those 'SEL teachable moments' that occur every day in the classroom and beyond.  It offers an understanding that can enable all teachers (and adults) to stay in a good feeling regardless of what is going on around them and to use explicit language that brings awareness of the power of thought, and the nature of feelings to the classroom.  It allows everyone to be perceived impersonally, without labels and judgement, as simply being unaware of how they are using thought.  It's use has the power to create classrooms of security and safety in which all behaviours are understood as a process in the moment.  And it provides direct experience of seeing tense feelings for what they are and the value of creating space in the mind for common sense to surface.

If you would like to explore further the possibility of what understanding of the Three Principles can offer your classroom or school or family, then I wholeheartedly recommend the following paper:

http://caeyc.org/main/caeyc/pdfs/conference/handouts/2008/tappininnateresilience.pdf  One of it's authors (Roger Mills Ph.D.) worked extensively in what would be regarded as dysfunctional communities and with youth at risk.  In Three Principles Psychology, 'dysfunctional' is understood simply as an innocent habit of seeing personal thinking as truth.  Whether we are aware of it or not all of us have the capacity to turn instead to thought that naturally flows through us and does flow through us when we allow it be unhindered by our personal thinking.  May we all live in 'flow' more - and more about my personal experiences with this in later posts.